Today fear is rampant in all areas of our lives. There are many ways we seek safe harbor, a place to feel protected and cared for. Many turn to relationships for this comfort. Then, an odd thing happens, the relationship itself causes fear. What makes this happen? How do we build fearless relationships, based on courage and good will?

It is fear that cannot be trusted; fear is a liar that undermines our basic sense of confidence, clarity and good will. It makes us prey to those who wish to control or attack us in various ways. Self-hatred, one of the main afflictions this country, is fuelled by fear. The original love of life, curiosity, playfulness and joy that we are born with is wiped away.

There is no place where fear manifests more directly than in relationships, where we naturally become vulnerable and afraid of rejection or loss. It is, therefore, of the utmost importance to learn and practice the principles of fearless relationships, and learn how to dissolve fear on the spot. As we do so, we naturally discover where to put our trust, and become strong and safe. In this process, we are actually learning what it means to truly love.

One of the most common causes of fear in relationships is the fear of rejection, of not being good enough, or able to satisfy our partners or ourselves. We twist and turn ourselves into a pretzel, become someone we aren’t to get the love and acceptance we crave. However, this craving is a drug, the more we get, the more we want, and ultimately, the emptier we become. But it is only the false self that demands this, the self fuelled by fear. The truth is that you can never change enough or do enough to “make” someone love you. This is only the voice of fear turning the truth upside down.

When learning how to build fearless relationship a first step is to use your relationship as a teacher to find out who you really are. Discover the difference between real and counterfeit love. Learn the basic principles of peace of mind, absorb these principles, and practice them day by day.

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